Sandra Cole's Travel Journal
Our International Adoption Trip to
Khabarovsk Orphanage #1 in the Far Eastern Region of Russia
November 5-25, 1999
Julia Diane Cole
We're here at last! The best part about getting here was seeing Julia for the very first time in person. She is beautiful dark eyes and hair yet reserved and shy. She is healthy but very small, petite and somewhat under nourished. Our attorney and his wife are so very nice and the hotel is much better than we expected with a TV and refrigerator.
The worst part of the trip was the jet lag -- 15 hours of plane travel -- and the time we spent crowded on airplanes for eight hours at a time. It's very cold here, bleak, gray and sad. We couldn't believe how long it took to get here and, when we finally arrived, we were so relieved. It is such a remote region and so far away from Moscow that we thought, at times, we'd never get here.
We checked into the Intourist Hotel after Andrey and Nina picked us up at the airport; then we went immediately to see Julia ("Yulia") at Orphanage #1. She came into the reception area with her back held straight like a wooden solider; she was only 27 months old but seemed much older and wiser. She was wearing a red dress, wool leggings and small black patent leather shoes. She marched into the room with her head high and we fell in love with her upon first sight. Her legs were very stiff and her shoes were too small but, as we held our daughter in our arms, we loved her a love much stronger than we'd ever expected.
At first she was very quite but soon she began to laugh and smile a little. We took turns playing with her -- tossing her up in the air, swinging her around, hugging her and dancing. We gave her the soft pink baby doll Mother had given us and used it to kiss her up and down on her arms, cheeks, neck; she laughed! She held on to the doll with one hand and on to one of us with the other. She had a great grip on our index fingers the only finger she could really get her whole hand around. She seemed to like us and began to giggle a little bit, too. There was a small swing set in the room and she loved being pushed in it. My husband threw her up in the air several times, then put her on his shoulders, but she seemed afraid so he put her down. She ate a few raisins and an Oreo cookie. The orphanage workers asked us not to give her too many snacks and no chocolate, please! By the end of our first two hours together, it was clear she belonged to us -- and we belonged to her!
There were 200 children in Khab Baby Home #1, divided by age. Approximately 70% of the children are boys, 30% girls. Julia is in a group of about 20 children age two. There are several other groups: infants and three-year olds. The orphanage is two stories high with a large carved wooden front door. The building looked very institutional and reminded me of an old school or hospital from the outside. Although we don't know when it was constructed, my husband and I guessed it might have been built in the 1930's judging by the wear on the concrete. The walls were painted different colors pink, green, blue, yellow. Julia was on the second floor in the last room on the right near the director's office; the kitchen and laundry room were downstairs.
We learned that at the age of three, the children are moved to another orphanage for older children. Only 30% are "legally adoptable" due to the fact that if their mother's bring them to the orphanage without their passports, the paperwork cannot be filed and the child has to remain. So the mother must have her own documents in order and many of them don't. Every day when we'd go into Julia's playroom to get her, all of the children would come running to the door crying out: "Mama, Papa". It was heartbreaking. Near the end of our wait, Julia would say "NO, MY Mama, Papa" to the others when we approached. We traveled to Russia during the time when only one trip was required and we stayed the 10-day court wait in Khab, visiting Julia twice each day.
Khabarovsk (the "K" is silent "Ha-bar-ovsk") is 15 hours ahead of Eastern Standard Time. With a population of 613,000, the principle industries are oil and fish processing. Important buildings include the Central Stadium (1957), eight institutions of higher education, three theatres, and a research and design institute. The main body of water is the Amur River and the community park, Komsomolskaya Square.
Founded in 1858 as a military post, Khab is a port on the Amur River. Named for the famous Russian explorer E.P. Khabarov, the city was called Khabarovka before 1873. It is a rather large city with a large government building, a main street with central department buildings that offer many varied products from toys to jewelry, to cosmetics, clothing, fabric by the yard, books and CD's. Most people live in tall apartment buildings the government controls the heat, water, etc. There are several parks, statues and fountains throughout the city.
We stayed at the Intourist Hotel, a large international hotel (eleven stories) with three restaurants, several shops, and even a children's shop at the top of the Administration floor; the floors were O, A, 1-11. There was a beauty shop, laundry facilities, exchange bank and an Aeroflot office. The hotel was on a small bend in the river, a peninsula, and there was even a beach to the left of our hotel. A park connected the beach with amusement rides and concession stands all closed in the winter as it was so cold (the average temperature while we were there was 11 degrees Fahrenheit, with snow).
The exchange rate at the time of our visit (November 1999) was one U.S. Dollar for 26 Russian Rubles - one Ruble equaled $3.84. We had plenty of good food at great prices smoked salmon and caviar for breakfast; cucumbers and tomatoes; a "fern" salad with mayonnaise and cheese; strong bitter coffee; and, ice cream made with real cream was everywhere, even in November, for about four rubles (15 cents). One night we had excellent large fried prawns (shrimp) with rice at the Japanese restaurant upstairs in our hotel. The cost was 360 Rubles, not quite $14 for dinner for two. Mink coats cost approximately 30,000 rubles or $1,150 dollars although I didn't buy one (living in South Carolina, I'd never use it).
We didn't tip for food or other services - just the fee. And, there was no bargaining, either. Not much use for credit cards; they haven't been trained to use the credit card machines but have them in stores with the M/C, Visa stickers on the doors of the shops. The economic crisis crippled the Russian economy to the point that the ruble was very unstable. Even in the places that did take credit cards, they worried that the time lag in billing and payments could devalue their money even more, hurting profits or even causing losses.
Things to see and do in Khab: Museum of Local Studies (admission approximately $2 per person), the Art Museum and the Military Museum. Also, the Church of Christ's Birth, a wooden constructed building on Lenin-Gradskaya 65 with icons and an interior of colored glass. The Green Onion Dome Church near our hotel was also beautiful.
We were very impressed by the honesty of the local people as one day we left all of our cash, passports, and air tickets in the room (by accident!) in the top dresser drawer. Not a problem it was still there, untouched, when we returned. And, one day when I threw away an old pair of panties, the hotel staff took them out of the trash bin, laundered them for three Rubles (1.2 cents) and returned them to me that evening that experience so humbled me for a very long time!
On Thursday, November 11, 1999 at 3:15 p.m. local time, the judge was satisfied after two hours of questioning, that we would be "acceptable". It was over -- or was it just beginning? Julia is our daughter and we are her parents. Ring the bells, chime the chimes, Julia Diane Cole has been born. My husband was weak in the knees; I was delighted and somewhat stunned that on this gray Russian day, 15 hours from home, 25 years after my husband and I met in college, we were finally parents.
Our trip to Russia to adopt our daughter was an incredible adventure too big for us to experience alone. We shared our thoughts almost every day via e-mail sent to my dear friend and co-worker, Laura, who forwarded the messages to thirty-five family members and friends tracking our progress across the globe. Without the emotional support of our family and friends, the trip and the wait for our daughter, would have been much harder.
Adopting Julia was the most important thing we've done in our lives; it will be the most important thing we will ever do; this, I know for sure. To get Julia out of a Russian orphanage, to offer her a life with two loving parents, three doting grandparents and an extended family, along with many other benefits she will enjoy as an American citizen (health care, education, food, freedom of religion and speech, and many things we take for granted). Julia is a smart, brilliant, adorable little girl, happy and charming, blessed into an American life and a blessing to us all forever and ever.
AMEN
